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Love

Almost the Answer to Finding Love… (You didn’t know you were searching for.)

Firstly…  Find love in your life… don’t find love and then search for a life.

That being said… not all of us are capable or willing to sit idle and wait for a storybook entrance of love into their life in some romantic swoop… but, hey, you never know! 😉

So, what is the only possible answer to finding love, you ask?  Oh, glad you asked… KNOW WHAT YOU ARE NOT LOOKING FOR!  It may seem like a ballsy statement that can’t possibly be helpful or must not be true for so many people, that will say, they don’t know what they are looking for (or not looking for) until they find it or don’t find it… But, please bear with me and take a moment to consider how many people never really get clear, like really clear about what they know they don’t want.

Change your mind about what you know you don’t want, that’s totally fine… But, try to get really clear about the new thoughts of what you are thinking you know you don’t want.

This is B.S you say, ok… well, that is a valid opinion… but, I do want to point out that the title is about finding love, not getting lucky enough to fall into love with someone that luckily turned out to be a great fit for your life.  This is a reminder of not compromising yourself and be confident in finding the love you want for the rest of your life or in your life, period.

Desperation, compromising on your needs and dreams, can too easily turn into tricky and convenience self mind games that eventually somehow make a wrong fit seems like a perfect fit for the love you’ve been searching for… for so long.  SO, write down, scrapbook it, bookmark or by all means save it somehow where you will remember it, so you will have a reference of what you are not looking for… and if you happen to know (or even think you know) what you are looking for, write that down too.

 

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Life / Living

Love in your life is achievable… It’s not floating high on a cloud!

Living your life with love and communicating with love is absolutely achievable for you and anyone.

There are a thousand ways to justify needing to live from anger, hate, despair, loneliness and disappointment… But, many times the real need of love gets lost underneath these ways of being, masking what is really at the core of what is desired and needed.

All you need is love and love is almost always at the core of what you need.

A spouse gets angry for not being needed, but says they don’t want to be needed.

The boss who thinks they need to strike fears into their employees to achieve the desired goals.

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Communication

Relationship Communication

Perhaps one of the most dreaded aspects of relationships, but also perhaps the most rewarding.  What could be more fulfilling that communicating well with someone that you are in a relationship with!  Whatever forms of communication you currently have in your relationships, there may be other forms of beneficial communication that you could be neglecting to incorporate into your relationships.

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Love, Love in Religion

Love in Religion

If you read about every major religion in the world, there are strands of religious beliefs and traditions that all have a similar message of love.  Love through compassion, love through forgiveness, love through belief and encouragement, love through patience and honesty, love through happiness and contentment, as well as love through various other virtues and disciplines.  If love doesn’t unite us all, then I don’t know what  does.

“Love is the answer…” — John Lennon

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Communication

The Longevity of Marriage Communication

Prior to getting into a relationship, finding that special someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with is the biggest challenge… But, after you wholeheartedly commit your life to another person and get married, the next biggest challenge will probably be communication.  Communication is hard stuff, wholesomely complete real rhythmic communication is hard for everyone!  And, as with most challenges you take on in life, those challenges can be the most rewarding.  Through communication you build connection.

Communication is perhaps one of the most essential aspects of marriage and could be perceived as one of the pillars of marriage longevity.  When we have needs that aren’t getting met by our spouse and we can’t communicate those needs to our spouse, then the needs continue to go unfulfilled… often leading to divorce.

Marriage is a covenant between two people meant to last a lifetime.  It can often be the largest commitment and undertaking that you will ever make… and there are no guarantees.  Scared yet?!  But, more than an agreement it’s a PROMISE in every sense of the word, a declaration, a particular decision, a specific course of action, an arrangement of all involved and oh so much more.

Often the first recommendation for someone in a troubled marriage is to seek a marriage counselor to bridge that gap in communication and offer various forms of support.  Finding a marriage counselor that both parties find fair and effective can be quite a time-consuming task.

If you are not clear about what you want to communication in your own head, then it will be even more confusing to your spouse.  Try pondering the core reasons of why you want to say what you want to say, before you say what you want to say… This often leads to the realization of other ways you can communication what you want to communicate.  If you have trouble pondering the core reasons, try keeping a journal (yes, you heard me and no, it’s not just for teenagers), which is actually a highly effective tool, used by many successful people that make an effort to make each day better than the last, or as close to it as they possibly can.

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Love

Mutualization

 

Mutual love, mutual life, mutual respect, mutual dependence, mutual learning, mutual admiration, mutual co-existence… Mutualism is about harmony.

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Relationships

The Key to Commitment in Relationships

What do you think matters most in committed relationships?  Perhaps a deep sense of love and security that you found your soul mate or the one you believe is “the one”… or… perhaps it’s simply the fun times and companionship that brings light and spontaneity into your life.

The two main types of longterm committed relationships, could be boiled-down into relationships that restrict, suppress and depress, and the opposite type of relationship that encourages, excites your passions and enthusiasm.  But, sadly, the actual longevity of the relationship maybe more about compromise, personality and feelings of obligation.

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Connecting / Re-Connecting, Relationships

Try Back-to-Back Time!

One powerful way to re-connect to someone that you are in a close relationship with, is to make some time for some “back-to-back” time (which doesn’t have to be back-to-back, but once or twice a week, would probably be a good start.)

What do I mean by “back-to-back”?  Well, I mean literally your back against theirs.  Never intentionally tried this or maybe this sounds like what you do in bed after an argument.  Ok, this is different… this is where your back is pressed-up against their back.  So, you say, “Why would that help?!”

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Relationships

Ways to Improve Your Relationship

It doesn’t take much to help your partner feel more valued every day.  Sometimes a lot of little ongoing things — which don’t take much time or effort on their own — can mean a lot more than the rare grandiose gesture on some holiday that.  No surprise there, I mean who would actually choose to wait for the most significant person in their life to show they care and value your relationship.  That’s daily medicine and can fit into every routine.  So, put it on your calendar and within minutes you are on your way to building a stronger connection and a more meaningful relationship that will surely mean more than you think right now.

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Family, Marriage

Marry the Person You Love and Love Your Choice

“Choose your love; love your choice.”  — Thomas Monson

Marriage is about choice (in most circumstances anyway); you are choosing a spouse to share your life with on a long-term basis.  Marriage should be a choice about marriage and not just the next choice, because it seems like the next step in a relationship.  First you need to decide what marriage means to you and get clear about what you are choosing, when making a choice to marry someone.

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