- not too girly
- sense of duty
- soft tenderness
- calm personality
- not easy nor hasty
- unquestionable trust
- has own favorite things
- serves a higher purpose
- not needlessly transparent
- not desperate for someone
- does things slowly with care
- warm without being flirtatious
- secure enough to not be clingy
- could look into your eyes forever
- has a great purpose to fulfill in life
- not overly obsessed with anything
- spontaneous without being careless
- down-to-earth and genuinely original
- values a small meaningful social circle
- not overly concerned with other people
- ideally has similar build and activity level
- likes to have fun and equally likes to work
- has enough attitude to excite and laugh with
- has common sense and practices moderation
- makes efforts to look nice without over doing it
- she makes an effort to learn about your interests
- does not always feel like she has to wear makeup
- someone who you could keep loving unequivocally
- listens to you
- grows with you
- layered strength
- deeply hears you
- incredibly thoughtful
- never breaks your trust
- sensitive to all your needs
- remains solid in his choices
- confidence in knowing himself
- unwavering in purpose and goals
- attuned to your feelings and desires
- he does not wait around or play games
- he cherishes you and cannot get enough
- he is always clear about what it is he wants
- he deliberately chose you and only you forever
- he is the man he wants to be before he meets you
- when he does something you know he will do it well
- has deep-rooted humility while being relatably imperfect
- has strong principles without being overly proud of himself
- he is in no rush whatsoever and takes him time with everything
- a man that does not need to control but is willing to take charge
- he puts you first everyday and shows you are worth his attention
- has strong beliefs without being judgemental towards other beliefs
- simple at his core who values what he has and doesn’t need excess
- most importantly he is genuine and never apologies for being himself
- someone who you could keep loving unequivocally and without reserve
Firstly… Find love in your life… don’t find love and then search for a life.
That being said… not all of us are capable or willing to sit idle and wait for a storybook entrance of love into their life in some romantic swoop… but, hey, you never know! 😉
So, what is the only possible answer to finding love, you ask? Oh, glad you asked… KNOW WHAT YOU ARE NOT LOOKING FOR! It may seem like a ballsy statement that can’t possibly be helpful or must not be true for so many people, that will say, they don’t know what they are looking for (or not looking for) until they find it or don’t find it… But, please bear with me and take a moment to consider how many people never really get clear, like really clear about what they know they don’t want.
Change your mind about what you know you don’t want, that’s totally fine… But, try to get really clear about the new thoughts of what you are thinking you know you don’t want.
This is B.S you say, ok… well, that is a valid opinion… but, I do want to point out that the title is about finding love, not getting lucky enough to fall into love with someone that luckily turned out to be a great fit for your life. This is a reminder of not compromising yourself and be confident in finding the love you want for the rest of your life or in your life, period.
Desperation, compromising on your needs and dreams, can too easily turn into tricky and convenience self mind games that eventually somehow make a wrong fit seems like a perfect fit for the love you’ve been searching for… for so long. SO, write down, scrapbook it, bookmark or by all means save it somehow where you will remember it, so you will have a reference of what you are not looking for… and if you happen to know (or even think you know) what you are looking for, write that down too.
Living your life with love and communicating with love is absolutely achievable for you and anyone.
There are a thousand ways to justify needing to live from anger, hate, despair, loneliness and disappointment… But, many times the real need of love gets lost underneath these ways of being, masking what is really at the core of what is desired and needed.
All you need is love and love is almost always at the core of what you need.
A spouse gets angry for not being needed, but says they don’t want to be needed.
The boss who thinks they need to strike fears into their employees to achieve the desired goals.
Perhaps one of the most dreaded aspects of relationships, but also perhaps the most rewarding. What could be more fulfilling that communicating well with someone that you are in a relationship with! Whatever forms of communication you currently have in your relationships, there may be other forms of beneficial communication that you could be neglecting to incorporate into your relationships.
If you read about every major religion in the world, there are strands of religious beliefs and traditions that all have a similar message of love. Love through compassion, love through forgiveness, love through belief and encouragement, love through patience and honesty, love through happiness and contentment, as well as love through various other virtues and disciplines. If love doesn’t unite us all, then I don’t know what does.
“Love is the answer…” — John Lennon
Prior to getting into a relationship, finding that special someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with is the biggest challenge… But, after you wholeheartedly commit your life to another person and get married, the next biggest challenge will probably be communication. Communication is hard stuff, wholesomely complete real rhythmic communication is hard for everyone! And, as with most challenges you take on in life, those challenges can be the most rewarding. Through communication you build connection.
Communication is perhaps one of the most essential aspects of marriage and could be perceived as one of the pillars of marriage longevity. When we have needs that aren’t getting met by our spouse and we can’t communicate those needs to our spouse, then the needs continue to go unfulfilled… often leading to divorce.
Marriage is a covenant between two people meant to last a lifetime. It can often be the largest commitment and undertaking that you will ever make… and there are no guarantees. Scared yet?! But, more than an agreement it’s a PROMISE in every sense of the word, a declaration, a particular decision, a specific course of action, an arrangement of all involved and oh so much more.
Often the first recommendation for someone in a troubled marriage is to seek a marriage counselor to bridge that gap in communication and offer various forms of support. Finding a marriage counselor that both parties find fair and effective can be quite a time-consuming task.
If you are not clear about what you want to communication in your own head, then it will be even more confusing to your spouse. Try pondering the core reasons of why you want to say what you want to say, before you say what you want to say… This often leads to the realization of other ways you can communication what you want to communicate. If you have trouble pondering the core reasons, try keeping a journal (yes, you heard me and no, it’s not just for teenagers), which is actually a highly effective tool, used by many successful people that make an effort to make each day better than the last, or as close to it as they possibly can.
Mutual love, mutual life, mutual respect, mutual dependence, mutual learning, mutual admiration, mutual co-existence… Mutualism is about harmony.
What do you think matters most in a committed relationship? Perhaps you believe that, in order to be a part of a committed relationship, a deep sense of love and security must be found, or that the person you are with must be the one you believe is your soulmate, or, perhaps, you are looking for fun times and companionship with someone who brings light and spontaneity into your life. Maybe you are looking for all three.
Just as there are all types of things that people look for in a committed relationship, there are all types of committed relationships. But, the types of long term committed relationships I will be focusing on can be boiled-down into two categories: relationships that encourage, excite your passions and inspire enthusiasm; and the opposite type of relationships that restrict, suppress and depress. And, when it comes to the actual longevity of the relationship, a relationship maybe more about compromising oneself and feelings of obligation, than love.
Let’s go over some of the aspects which should be present in a healthy and nurturing committed relationship.
One powerful way to re-connect to someone that you are in a close relationship with, is to make some time for some “back-to-back” time (which doesn’t have to be back-to-back, but once or twice a week, would probably be a good start.)
What do I mean by “back-to-back”? Well, I mean literally your back against theirs. Never intentionally tried this or maybe this sounds like what you do in bed after an argument. Ok, this is different… this is where your back is pressed-up against their back. So, you say, “Why would that help?!”