Prior to getting into a relationship, finding that special someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with is the biggest challenge… But, after you wholeheartedly commit your life to another person and get married, the next biggest challenge will probably be communication. Communication is hard stuff, wholesomely complete real rhythmic communication is hard for everyone! And, as with most challenges you take on in life, those challenges can be the most rewarding. Through communication you build connection.
Communication is perhaps one of the most essential aspects of marriage and could be perceived as one of the pillars of marriage longevity. When we have needs that aren’t getting met by our spouse and we can’t communicate those needs to our spouse, then the needs continue to go unfulfilled… often leading to divorce.
Marriage is a covenant between two people meant to last a lifetime. It can often be the largest commitment and undertaking that you will ever make… and there are no guarantees. Scared yet?! But, more than an agreement it’s a PROMISE in every sense of the word, a declaration, a particular decision, a specific course of action, an arrangement of all involved and oh so much more.
Often the first recommendation for someone in a troubled marriage is to seek a marriage counselor to bridge that gap in communication and offer various forms of support. Finding a marriage counselor that both parties find fair and effective can be quite a time-consuming task.
If you are not clear about what you want to communication in your own head, then it will be even more confusing to your spouse. Try pondering the core reasons of why you want to say what you want to say, before you say what you want to say… This often leads to the realization of other ways you can communication what you want to communicate. If you have trouble pondering the core reasons, try keeping a journal (yes, you heard me and no, it’s not just for teenagers), which is actually a highly effective tool, used by many successful people that make an effort to make each day better than the last, or as close to it as they possibly can.
Find love, explore love, appreciate love, nurture love, honor love, rethink love and sustain love.
To sustain love in a relationship, be sure the love you want to sustain is what you want sustained… a loving relationship of wholesome love, fearless love, unrestricted love and unrestrained love. In reality, your relationship may not be everything you want it to be all the time and that’s perfectly fine.
The most important part of sustaining love, is sustaining yourself first… and reaching a balanced state of dignity, self-respect, self-worth, self-gratitude and love for yourself that honors the wonderful you, both inside and out. When you feel like you don’t measure-up, change the metric and scale. There is no superior measurement system and it’s all about perspective can be gained from any angle.
Being the best you may seem impossible or a fairytale, since all the parts of you may not seem like even close to the best parts (to put it mildly.)
The best you will always be you doing your best.
What you do best, may not always allow you to be you at your best.
You at your best is not a destination, it is a winding path towards what’s in your heart.
Loving you at your best, is not loving what you do or accomplish, but loving who you are and where your mind, heart and spirit are. Becoming the best version of yourself does not require anything around you to change and only consists of you becoming the best you, you can be.
You don’t need to (and probably will never) understand “how” to achieve your dreams. The how comes from the why. What you need is to believe it enough that it becomes part of you and then your path of progress will be in alignment with the path to achieve that dream.
Dream big and dream bold, for a dream that doesn’t involve dreaming beyond what is based in your current reality, isn’t really a dream.
“Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.” —Abraham Lincoln
May we all communicate with love.
May we all try to learn before we assume.
May we all seek understanding before we judge.
May we all feel empathy before we hurt someone.
May we all take the time to think before we speak out.
Because the relationships in your life include you, they are a partial reflection of yourself, so in order to improve your relationships, you must improve yourself.
Become the person who can have the type of amazing relationship that you desire in your life and set an intention inside of yourself for attracting the other part of that relationship.
The elements of the relationship instruction manual are:
- Your Love — The humblest and most powerful force in the universe that makes the impossible possible.
- Your Attention — Possibly the most valuable currency you will ever get the privilege of spending.
- Your Intuition — A sacred gift that can trust to guide you and bring you to what you truly seek in life.
- Your Integrity — What keeps you true to yourself, because if you lose yourself, then you aren’t really you.
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Alone can be literally alone, but can also be having the feeling of being alone most of the time.
Single on-the-other-hand can mean that you’re just not in a committed relationship.
When you’re not in a committed relationship and you feel alone… well, that can be very lonely.
Being and feeling alone can be quite emotional, since humans in general are somewhat hard-wired to be social creatures for obvious reasons, like continuing our species through breeding.
You may also find yourself consciously fighting negative non-truths, like: “Am I relationship-worthy?”, “Does anyone really want me or just what they can get from me?”, “Do they really not have time for me?” and many others.
Anyone who leaves you is helping you learn how to stand stronger on your own.
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