- not too girly
- sense of duty
- soft tenderness
- calm personality
- not easy nor hasty
- unquestionable trust
- has own favorite things
- serves a higher purpose
- not needlessly transparent
- not desperate for someone
- does things slowly with care
- warm without being flirtatious
- secure enough to not be clingy
- could look into your eyes forever
- has a great purpose to fulfill in life
- not overly obsessed with anything
- spontaneous without being careless
- down-to-earth and genuinely original
- values a small meaningful social circle
- not overly concerned with other people
- ideally has similar build and activity level
- likes to have fun and equally likes to work
- has enough attitude to excite and laugh with
- has common sense and practices moderation
- makes efforts to look nice without over doing it
- she makes an effort to learn about your interests
- does not always feel like she has to wear makeup
- someone who you could keep loving unequivocally
- listens to you
- grows with you
- layered strength
- deeply hears you
- incredibly thoughtful
- never breaks your trust
- sensitive to all your needs
- remains solid in his choices
- confidence in knowing himself
- unwavering in purpose and goals
- attuned to your feelings and desires
- he does not wait around or play games
- he cherishes you and cannot get enough
- he is always clear about what it is he wants
- he deliberately chose you and only you forever
- he is the man he wants to be before he meets you
- when he does something you know he will do it well
- has deep-rooted humility while being relatably imperfect
- has strong principles without being overly proud of himself
- he is in no rush whatsoever and takes him time with everything
- a man that does not need to control but is willing to take charge
- he puts you first everyday and shows you are worth his attention
- has strong beliefs without being judgemental towards other beliefs
- simple at his core who values what he has and doesn’t need excess
- most importantly he is genuine and never apologies for being himself
- someone who you could keep loving unequivocally and without reserve
Firstly… Find love in your life… don’t find love and then search for a life.
That being said… not all of us are capable or willing to sit idle and wait for a storybook entrance of love into their life in some romantic swoop… but, hey, you never know! 😉
So, what is the only possible answer to finding love, you ask? Oh, glad you asked… KNOW WHAT YOU ARE NOT LOOKING FOR! It may seem like a ballsy statement that can’t possibly be helpful or must not be true for so many people, that will say, they don’t know what they are looking for (or not looking for) until they find it or don’t find it… But, please bear with me and take a moment to consider how many people never really get clear, like really clear about what they know they don’t want.
Change your mind about what you know you don’t want, that’s totally fine… But, try to get really clear about the new thoughts of what you are thinking you know you don’t want.
This is B.S you say, ok… well, that is a valid opinion… but, I do want to point out that the title is about finding love, not getting lucky enough to fall into love with someone that luckily turned out to be a great fit for your life. This is a reminder of not compromising yourself and be confident in finding the love you want for the rest of your life or in your life, period.
Desperation, compromising on your needs and dreams, can too easily turn into tricky and convenience self mind games that eventually somehow make a wrong fit seems like a perfect fit for the love you’ve been searching for… for so long. SO, write down, scrapbook it, bookmark or by all means save it somehow where you will remember it, so you will have a reference of what you are not looking for… and if you happen to know (or even think you know) what you are looking for, write that down too.
If you read about every major religion in the world, there are strands of religious beliefs and traditions that all have a similar message of love. Love through compassion, love through forgiveness, love through belief and encouragement, love through patience and honesty, love through happiness and contentment, as well as love through various other virtues and disciplines. If love doesn’t unite us all, then I don’t know what does.
“Love is the answer…” — John Lennon
Mutual love, mutual life, mutual respect, mutual dependence, mutual learning, mutual admiration, mutual co-existence… Mutualism is about harmony.
“Keeping a personal journal a daily in-depth analysis and evaluation of your experiences is a high-leverage activity that increases self-awareness and enhances all the endowments and the synergy among them.” — Stephen R.Covey
- It’s completely doable in just a few minutes a day, even the most busiest and stressed person can spend at least a few minutes a day on something that could greatly improve their most important relationship in their life.
- It allows you to clear your emotions that have been building up all day and putting them out there into words, can also bring a lot of clarity to what emotions you were experiencing and what may be behind those emotions.
- It can work like a free personal therapist, in that you can unload and get feedback from your significant other, when you are ready to receive input and discuss what happened or what went on internally for you.
- It can help give you a sense of direction, since you will be able to track and review your personal love history, which can help you learn about yourself quite a lot.
- It gives you a medium to freely express yourself, which the pressure of being in someone’s face about possibly very sensitive issues. Sometimes you want to say something, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you are ready to discuss it. This also gives the option for you to pass along a page from your love journal to your partner with the understanding that you aren’t quite ready to have a discussion, but wanted them to know.
- It can increase gratitude, both for yourself and for the other people whom you allow to read it… Being human isn’t easy and when people can read about your feelings and thoughts at their own pace to fully digest. It also allows them time for self-reflection, which can light-up compassion, gratitude and empathy in their hearts.
- It can improve your writing, as in, building the skills that come along with taking your thoughts and turning them into words. As well as, developing your thoughts, so that they can be effectively communicated through words… wether read or spoken.
- It can power-up your creativity, just like anything you create and pour your heart into, it can open-up facets of your being that open new possibilities to ways you can get creative and contribute to the world for the betterment of humankind.
- It can allow you to gain more self-awareness than every before, especially if you take a little extra time to go back and review your previous love journal entries. Being aware of something is the first step before you can improve upon that something.
- It improves your productivity, yeah, that’s right… you are producing something and that can have quite the synergistic effect on your life. You may just find that you get more productive in other parts of your life as well. It always help to have small daily accomplishments to keep your life moving and the energy flowing.
Find love, explore love, appreciate love, nurture love, honor love, rethink love and sustain love.
To sustain love in a relationship, be sure the love you want to sustain is what you want sustained… a loving relationship of wholesome love, fearless love, unrestricted love and unrestrained love. In reality, your relationship may not be everything you want it to be all the time and that’s perfectly fine.
The most important part of sustaining love, is sustaining yourself first… and reaching a balanced state of dignity, self-respect, self-worth, self-gratitude and love for yourself that honors the wonderful you, both inside and out. When you feel like you don’t measure-up, change the metric and scale. There is no superior measurement system and it’s all about perspective can be gained from any angle.
Love is all you need and all you need is love… simple right?
Live-and-breath love… love yourself in every breathe, love others and the world around you. Simple.
Live your life through love… pour your heart into everything you do, feel the love from others.
Simply love everyone and everything that you put your attention on… and your life will be filled with love.
So… what’s not easy about that… what gets in the way…
Being the best you may seem impossible or a fairytale, since all the parts of you may not seem like even close to the best parts (to put it mildly.)
The best you will always be you doing your best.
What you do best, may not always allow you to be you at your best.
You at your best is not a destination, it is a winding path towards what’s in your heart.
Loving you at your best, is not loving what you do or accomplish, but loving who you are and where your mind, heart and spirit are. Becoming the best version of yourself does not require anything around you to change and only consists of you becoming the best you, you can be.
At the most basic level of why we do what we do… we are all motivated by love.
We are social beings at are core and even if we are hardcore homebodies there is still a intrinsic part of ourselves that was nurtured and wants to be nurtured… and in turn wants to nurture or give something.
That being said, many (if not most), operate in a mode of extrinsic motivate, be it fear or reward… which is far less powerful than an intrinsic motivation of love and contribution. The employee that gets enough to cover the bills and have a little fun whom is motivated by reward, looks forward to getting off work to go play. But, the employee that believes in what they do and feel like they are perhaps making the world a better place, could find themselves working long past the standard work day to go above and beyond.
If nothing else we can be remembered by the sum of our contributions to humanity.