Prior to getting into a relationship, finding that special someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with is the biggest challenge… But, after you wholeheartedly commit your life to another person and get married, the next biggest challenge will probably be communication. Communication is hard stuff, wholesomely complete real rhythmic communication is hard for everyone! And, as with most challenges you take on in life, those challenges can be the most rewarding. Through communication you build connection.
Communication is perhaps one of the most essential aspects of marriage and could be perceived as one of the pillars of marriage longevity. When we have needs that aren’t getting met by our spouse and we can’t communicate those needs to our spouse, then the needs continue to go unfulfilled… often leading to divorce.
Marriage is a covenant between two people meant to last a lifetime. It can often be the largest commitment and undertaking that you will ever make… and there are no guarantees. Scared yet?! But, more than an agreement it’s a PROMISE in every sense of the word, a declaration, a particular decision, a specific course of action, an arrangement of all involved and oh so much more.
Often the first recommendation for someone in a troubled marriage is to seek a marriage counselor to bridge that gap in communication and offer various forms of support. Finding a marriage counselor that both parties find fair and effective can be quite a time-consuming task.
If you are not clear about what you want to communication in your own head, then it will be even more confusing to your spouse. Try pondering the core reasons of why you want to say what you want to say, before you say what you want to say… This often leads to the realization of other ways you can communication what you want to communicate. If you have trouble pondering the core reasons, try keeping a journal (yes, you heard me and no, it’s not just for teenagers), which is actually a highly effective tool, used by many successful people that make an effort to make each day better than the last, or as close to it as they possibly can.