“Choose your love; love your choice.” — Thomas Monson
Marriage is about choice (in most circumstances anyway); you are choosing a spouse to share your life with on a long-term basis. Marriage should be a choice about marriage and not just the next choice, because it seems like the next step in a relationship. First you need to decide what marriage means to you and get clear about what you are choosing, when making a choice to marry someone.
The choice of marriage should not be taken lightly, it is usually: expensive, life altering, family changing and can affect the rest of your life in endless ways.
Some generally guidelines, which of course won’t apply to everyone all of the time:
- a spouse should complement and support you in some way
- being married should give you a higher sense of purpose and meaning
- a spouse should consistently make you want to be better in some way
- a marriage should give you better focus on what’s really important in life
- you should have a solid feel of a direction and adventure with your spouse
- you should feel some level of willingness to regularly improve aspects of yourself
- some level of humility is expected, as your flaws and weaknesses get highlighted
- marriage is more giving than having, be generous in love and be happy from within
Most important of all, once you have made your choice, love your choice and love the person you chose. Your dedication, love, understanding and surrendering to another person is still just one of the ways in which you can spend some of your life, so don’t compromise who you are, you still need yourself to participate in a successful marriage. Surrendering yourself to someone is an act of love, which should not include a submission of oneself or any of your values.