It doesn’t take much to help your partner feel more valued every day. Sometimes a lot of little ongoing things — which don’t take much time or effort on their own — can mean a lot more than the rare grandiose gesture on some holiday that. No surprise there, I mean who would actually choose to wait for the most significant person in their life to show they care and value your relationship. That’s daily medicine and can fit into every routine. So, put it on your calendar and within minutes you are on your way to building a stronger connection and a more meaningful relationship that will surely mean more than you think right now.
Here are some ways you can easily improve your relationship:
- Start by turning off your cell phone… the most important person in your life needs your undivided attention at least once a day or more… unless it’s an emergency, can’t the funny pictures and social media messages wait until you’ve at least had a meaningful amount of quality time with you partner?
- Nonsexual sexual-like activities, like nonsexual sensuous touching, massage, hugging, snuggling, holding, spooning or whatever you can think of (that doesn’t lead to sex). Having some purely nonsexual intimate time together can be as important as sex itself. And, if touching isn’t your thing… the try eye gazing or other forms of intimacy.
- Everyone needs to feel appreciated and not taken for granted, so, find at least one thing you can do for your partner EVERY DAY. Put it on your calendar, do it and keep doing it. Spending even a single minute a day to consciously think about your partner to find a small act of kindness, can nearly effortless shift away from negative perpetuations. This is also almost undeniable doable, regardless of the litany of excuses you could probably assemble. It is well worth the small effort.
- Family video time! Yes, however corny that may sound, it can work like wonderful therapy and can seriously boost you and your partner’s mood. Ok, so even if it’s not family videos with your kids, make some time to reminiscence and laugh! If you are going too long without laughing, you may want to stop and reevaluate your prioritizes, you only have the time you have left, so make it good.
- Talk with your partner about a weekly activity that will get you both active, the health benefits and endorphins from exercise can reignite your sexual life and vitally… all sweat equity is transferrable.
- Search for adventures, to a certain extent, we are literally hard-wired to crave change for some things after a certain point, so discuss with your partner what you would both enjoy trying together. Don’t over think it and for goodness sake don’t make it stressful, new things and adventures could be just dancing together with some catchy online music videos.
- Remember when you were thrilled about going to bed with your partner (if you still are, then hats off to you), try to find a way to get back to the routine of following each others routines, like going to bed at the same time. The most common result of going to bed at different times, is then sleeping in separate beds and a common results of sleeping in separate beds, is a breakdown of the entire relationship. If you have some valid reasons of needing to be a night owl, then you can always wait until your partner drifts off to sleep… BUT, be careful with this… more often than not, whatever you have to do late at night, you can shift to doing early in the morning instead and that has the added benefits of helping you get enough sleep (which also helps with irritability and the less irritable you are, the less likely you are to argue.)
- Learn something new about your partner, people are in constant change and relationships are progressing one way or another. Write them a message, ask them a question, read some of their social media feeds or however you can spark a conversation that you can be a hundred percent interested in hearing and learning something about your partner.
- And… least, but certainly not last… say “Thank You!”, well and for that matter, say “Your Welcome” too. Simple, but such an important show of continuous gratitude that, far too often, falls by the waist side after layers of adaptation, comfort and security set in.