Firstly… Find love in your life… don’t find love and then search for a life. That being said… not all of us are capable or willing to sit idle and
Mutual love, mutual life, mutual respect, mutual dependence, mutual learning, mutual admiration, mutual co-existence… Mutualism is about harmony.
What do you think matters most in committed relationships? Perhaps a deep sense of love and security that you found your soul mate or the one you believe is “the one”… or… perhaps it’s simply the fun times and companionship that brings light and spontaneity into your life.
The two main types of longterm committed relationships, could be boiled-down into relationships that restrict, suppress and depress, and the opposite type of relationship that encourages, excites your passions and enthusiasm. But, sadly, the actual longevity of the relationship maybe more about compromise, personality and feelings of obligation.
One powerful way to re-connect to someone that you are in a close relationship with, is to make some time for some “back-to-back” time (which doesn’t have to be back-to-back, but once or twice a week, would probably be a good start.)
What do I mean by “back-to-back”? Well, I mean literally your back against theirs. Never intentionally tried this or maybe this sounds like what you do in bed after an argument. Ok, this is different… this is where your back is pressed-up against their back. So, you say, “Why would that help?!”
It doesn’t take much to help your partner feel more valued every day. Sometimes a lot of little ongoing things — which don’t take much time or effort on their own — can mean a lot more than the rare grandiose gesture on some holiday that. No surprise there, I mean who would actually choose to wait for the most significant person in their life to show they care and value your relationship. That’s daily medicine and can fit into every routine. So, put it on your calendar and within minutes you are on your way to building a stronger connection and a more meaningful relationship that will surely mean more than you think right now.
“Choose your love; love your choice.” — Thomas Monson
Marriage is about choice (in most circumstances anyway); you are choosing a spouse to share your life with on a long-term basis. Marriage should be a choice about marriage and not just the next choice, because it seems like the next step in a relationship. First you need to decide what marriage means to you and get clear about what you are choosing, when making a choice to marry someone.
“Keeping a personal journal a daily in-depth analysis and evaluation of your experiences is a high-leverage activity that increases self-awareness and enhances all the endowments and the synergy among them.” — Stephen R.Covey
- It’s completely doable in just a few minutes a day, even the most busiest and stressed person can spend at least a few minutes a day on something that could greatly improve their most important relationship in their life.
- It allows you to clear your emotions that have been building up all day and putting them out there into words, can also bring a lot of clarity to what emotions you were experiencing and what may be behind those emotions.
- It can work like a free personal therapist, in that you can unload and get feedback from your significant other, when you are ready to receive input and discuss what happened or what went on internally for you.
- It can help give you a sense of direction, since you will be able to track and review your personal love history, which can help you learn about yourself quite a lot.
- It gives you a medium to freely express yourself, which the pressure of being in someone’s face about possibly very sensitive issues. Sometimes you want to say something, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you are ready to discuss it. This also gives the option for you to pass along a page from your love journal to your partner with the understanding that you aren’t quite ready to have a discussion, but wanted them to know.
- It can increase gratitude, both for yourself and for the other people whom you allow to read it… Being human isn’t easy and when people can read about your feelings and thoughts at their own pace to fully digest. It also allows them time for self-reflection, which can light-up compassion, gratitude and empathy in their hearts.
- It can improve your writing, as in, building the skills that come along with taking your thoughts and turning them into words. As well as, developing your thoughts, so that they can be effectively communicated through words… wether read or spoken.
- It can power-up your creativity, just like anything you create and pour your heart into, it can open-up facets of your being that open new possibilities to ways you can get creative and contribute to the world for the betterment of humankind.
- It can allow you to gain more self-awareness than every before, especially if you take a little extra time to go back and review your previous love journal entries. Being aware of something is the first step before you can improve upon that something.
- It improves your productivity, yeah, that’s right… you are producing something and that can have quite the synergistic effect on your life. You may just find that you get more productive in other parts of your life as well. It always help to have small daily accomplishments to keep your life moving and the energy flowing.
True happiness is a state that you choose to be, as you continue to change the world around you to support your happiness. You attract and magnetize what is similar to you. Your attitude and behavior can have a great influence on others around you and usually results in what types of situations and life experiences come your way.
Since happiness is an ever-changing subjective semi-ambiguous state of being…
- First, you must be the person you want to be, walk and talk in the shoes that feel like they are the closest fit and the most comfortable.
- Secondly, start doing and keep doing what feels like bring you the most happiest and remember to do things as the person you want to be, do things that are in alignment with the person you want to be.
- Thirdly, appreciate the things you have and every time you think you want to have something, be sure to get clear on what having that something would bring into yourself. If you have time, try to visualize that something already in your life and think about the ways that it would affect your life and the things you already have.
“There is no way to happiness — happiness is the way.” — Thich Nhat Hanh
Find love, explore love, appreciate love, nurture love, honor love, rethink love and sustain love.
To sustain love in a relationship, be sure the love you want to sustain is what you want sustained… a loving relationship of wholesome love, fearless love, unrestricted love and unrestrained love. In reality, your relationship may not be everything you want it to be all the time and that’s perfectly fine.
The most important part of sustaining love, is sustaining yourself first… and reaching a balanced state of dignity, self-respect, self-worth, self-gratitude and love for yourself that honors the wonderful you, both inside and out. When you feel like you don’t measure-up, change the metric and scale. There is no superior measurement system and it’s all about perspective can be gained from any angle.
Love is all you need and all you need is love… simple right?
Live-and-breath love… love yourself in every breathe, love others and the world around you. Simple.
Live your life through love… pour your heart into everything you do, feel the love from others.
Simply love everyone and everything that you put your attention on… and your life will be filled with love.
So… what’s not easy about that… what gets in the way…
Are you caught in a loop of deception and procrastination that is keeping you from a particular challenge that you would like to see yourself overcome?
What if what you think is too challenging isn’t as challenging as you think?
Anything you fear may be an opportunity to gain the courage to overcome it.